In a radical, unexpected departure from the caring, forgiving nature that God has been attempting to portray lately, today our God struck 15 cows dead, using lightning.
Area residents are baffled, as they say that nobody has done anything "that bad" in recent memory.
Some townspeople speculate that the cow murders may be the work of "that Muslim God". Sam Perkins, a 72 year old retired bartender, says "this just might be the work of Buddha". "The Chinese people have been really bad for the last few years" says Perkins.
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