SEFFNER, FLA -
Cowboy and Nellie Johnson, the people who live in the bright yellow trailer in the picture (it's under the fallen tree) just can't seem to catch a break lately.
"Cowboy" Johnson's given name is Donald. To cut down on confusion as to whether he is the actor who played on "Miami Vice", Donald "Cowboy" Johnson wears a black cowboy hat 24/7, and insists that he be addressed as "Cowboy". That pretty much does the trick. "Cowboy" Johnson has not been mistaken for the Miami Vice star "in a coon's age. A real old coon's age". *
I found Cowboy and his wife Nellie to be honest, hardworking people - "the salt of the earth", so to speak. Of course, these findings are based on looking at a picture of them, so for all I know they could be irritating jack-asses who never worked a day in their collective lives. They could have a freezer full of human heads, or could be torturing a monkey this very moment.
However, I choose to believe the "honest, hardworking, salt" thing. So forget about the monkey torturing thing - I'm 99.9% sure that Cowboy is not torturing a monkey at this very moment. And I am a good 90% sure that the guy hasn't tortured a monkey within the past month.
SO ANYHOW, here's what we do know about Cowboy Johnson:
- He is 61 years old, and lately he has had some pretty unfortunate and no doubt painful health issues. (blood clot in leg removed, heart attack, pacemaker implanted)
- He and his lovely wife Nellie live in a bright yellow trailer in the Plantation Oaks trailer park in Seffner, FLA
- This past April, a tree fell on their bright yellow trailer, causing damage to the roof, and interior walls and floors to cave in and buckle. Sounds like a bad scene, Eugene. But Cowboy and his wife got some money together and fixed the damage.
-This past Thursday, May 21st, another tree fell on the trailer. This time, their bedroom got all messed up and their carport was destroyed. Cowboy's truck is trapped in the mess.
-Apparenly, they are still living in the trailer, as all of their friends and relatives are either in bad health or live way far away.
-Cowboy is hungry, but can't get nothing to eat oncount of his truck is trapped under a crushed carport, which is trapped under a tree.
-Cowboy's wife suggested to Cowboy that since he is so hungry, just go borrow a loaf of bread from the neighbor's.
We do not know whether Cowboy's quest for a loaf of bread was successful. As a matter of fact, we don't even know if Cowboy has started his quest for a loaf of bread yet. They might be real hungry right now, and just don't feel like asking anyone for food. Like out of pride or something. I did find Cowboy and his wife to be very proud, honest people. But remember, this is based on looking at a picture of them in the newspaper. They could be cannibals, for all I know. They might have eaten everyone on the block by now. But probably not.
Anyway, that's about it. Cowboy and Nellie are probably not monkey torturing cannibals, and might even become indignant at the suggestion. And I bet they are real hungry, so if you see a bright yellow trailer in Seffner with a tree on it, stop by and give them food. And beer. I'll bet you anything that Cowboy could use a beer right now.
**Editor's Note: Cowboy does indeed wear a black cowboy hat most of the time, but all of that "getting mixed up with Miami Vice" stuff I made up.
Currently rated 1.5 by 2 people
- Currently 1.5/5 Stars.
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