TAMPA, FLA -
Those lunatic Sons of the Confederate Daughters or whatever they call themselves held a big ceremony this past weekend to draw yet more attention to their gigantic Confederate flag. Man, I tell you, that flag is BIG.
Anyway, they say that a thousand or so people showed up for the Official Dedication of the Giant Confederate Flag this past Saturday. In case you are not from around here, this flag is about as big as a flag can be. It waves with great pride day and night right next to I-75 at the southeast corner of Tampa. It has been close to a year since it was made a permanent fixture alongside the biggest highway in this part of Florida, and I guess the old boys decided it was time to try and stir up some more controversy.
Some folks say that the flag represents a way of life that was taken away from good folks by evil Big Government. Some folks say that the flag represents hundreds of years of oppression (you know, that slavery angle). Some have said that they would die for the right to fly the flag, and others say they would die to have the flag ripped down and burned.
Having driven by the flag for the first time a couple of weeks ago, all I can say is "Good golly that's a big freaking confederate flag!" And the fact is that some old dude owns the land the flag sits on, and apparently there is no zoning ordinance that says you can't fly a flag that is as big as the moon.
The thing really is larger than life, and because it is located along this major highway right next to an exit ramp, the thing looks like some official state monument. I bet that it has scared the crap out of more than one vacationing family driving from some nothern locale to one of those cool tropical vacation places that are located about 100 miles south of here.
Now put yourself in the place of a tourist, say from Wisconsin or Minnesota, and you're headed to Marco Island or some other exotic southwest FLA beach. You have driven over a thousand miles, and as you go through, say, Alabama, things start looking a little scary. Just because things start getting different. People talk with progressively more pronounced accents and look progressively more like inbred Deliverance characters the further south you get. By the time you hit the Florida line you think you've seen it all, that the worst is over. And you are totally wrong. Northern and Central Florida beats Alabama or Georgia hands down any-time-any-day when it comes to backwoods scary-ass shit happening. And that's a proven fact.
So you start seeing signs for Tampa/St. Petersburg and you think "ahh, civilization at last". And then BAM! There flies this giant freaking flag. I know it's made people pee their pants. The good news is that the flag sort of serves as a marker - once you get past it things really do start looking more like a tropical vacation haven and less like the scariest freak show on the planet. But the bad news is that there are people like you will see in the video below scattered all over the place. They know how to drive, in many cases, and we are not allowed to keep them in cages.
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