In an incredible lucky break for the Tampa Tribune, the Lingerie Football League put out a press release today. For those of you who are not "in the biz", a press release is a short story written by publicists and then released en masse to newspapers and other media outlets, where it is generally tossed immediately into the nearest trash can.
Sometimes, at the wackier newspaper offices there is a basketball hoop right above the trash can, and the recipient of the press release crumples the thing into a small ball and makes a big show of tossing the press release basketball through the net.
The standard procedure is to glance at the glossy paper for under a second, rapidly crumple the paper into a small ball, swing around in one of those old timey wooden chairs, toss the crumpled press release through the miniature hoop, throw the hands into the air and say "two points" in a mock-excited mostly cynical tone of voice. Then the press release recipient drinks about two fingers of bourbon from a water glass in a single gulp. Then the cranky old editor is spotted through the bottom of the glass, so the press release recipient quickly starts typing like a mad man, and picks up the phone and yells "Gladys, get me that morning blotter and I mean now!"
Then the guy slams the phone down and yells "where did we get that bimbo! How's a guy supposed to get a story out with a gal friday that's still thinking Monday!" At this point the fedora wearing cranky old editor guy throws his cigarette in the corner all dramatic like and says "Hey there Prettyboy Floyd! That's my niece you're yackin about!! She's keeping this paper out of the soup kitchen!! Now get that third page ice cream factory story hammered out and quit your yappin', fancy pants!"
Currently rated 1.4 by 12 people
- Currently 1.416666/5 Stars.
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