TAMPA, FLA -
David Oliver Muslin was supposed to fill in for a gym teacher at Lake Magdalene Elementary today. In a case of nothing short of Divine Intervention, the Lake Magdelene kids' cumulative prayers were answered and Mr. Muslin is now at the Orient Rd. jail until someone bails him out for $19,500.
Apparently, Mr. Muslin was celebrating his upcoming day of employment last night/this morning, and decided to practice being a bad-ass gym teacher on some grownups. After all, he was supposed to show up at Lake Magdelene in about 3 hours so it was time to get in to form.
David Oliver reportedly started a scuffle somewhere in the Anderson Rd. chain bar district, and deputies came to break up the fight. The deputies had been at the Anderson Rd. "Green Iguana" to investigate an assault. (The Green Iguana was a cool place back in Ybor, but the Anderson Rd. Iguana is just another place for drunks to congregate, fight, and get arrested). While at the Green Iguana: Anderson, they heard tell of a real fight going on just a block away at the corner of Anderson and Waters. The deputies rushed to the scene and began the "drunken brawl investigative process". The Hillsborough County Sheriff's Department has a world renowned "drunken brawl investigative process" and often other Central Florida sheriffs call upon them for their expertise.
So the deputies arrived at Anderson/Waters, quickly sorted through the drunken spectators, wannabes, and other assorted riff-raff, and discovered that the chief instigator was Scary-ass Substitute Gym Teacher David Oliver Muslin. D.O. Muslin was already behind the wheel of his 2007 Jeep ready to split the scene when Deputy John Duran attempted to extricate D.O. from the vehicle. David Oliver Muslin slammed on the gas in an attempt to escape extrication. Deputy Duran had his hand caught in the vehicle's door somehow. As David Oliver sped from the scene, Deputy Duran tagged along, being dragged along the highway for about 20 feet or so.
All the kids at Lake Magdelene Elementary know is that somehow their prayers were answered and that hopefully, God willing, the regular gym teacher will be back on Monday.
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