Florida has received yet another Document of Distinction for being a 2008 Most Dangerous Place. There were 22 shark attacks in Florida in 2008, making it the area with the most people bitten by sharks in the world. There were 58 shark attacks world wide in 2008, a sharp drop from the previous year's 71 total shark attacks.
Most of the attacks took place at Smyrna Beach, where the waters are full of hungry critters with tooth-filled heads, and an equal or greater number of surfers who could care less about losing an occasional foot because the waves are just bitchin' awesome.
Perhaps coincidently, state tourism officials report that 2008 was the worst year for visitors blindly spending their hard earned cash like carefree zombies in a voodoo reggae trance. Last year was the worst year for tourism since 2001.
So is there a connection between the shark bite thing and the low tourism thing? I think not. Although the pesky sharks make excellent scapegoats, the drop in tourism is more likely due to the people of Florida letting the state go to hell in a handbasket. People throw their trash out their windows, empty their toilet buckets in the street, and build pre-abandoned strip malls like there is no tomorrow. If we Floridians (florida is the Spanish term for flower, so we are Flowerians in English) want people to come back to our state we have to quit stealing their rental cars and begging them for beer. That's just the way it is.
It is easy for anyone to get discouraged during these trying times, what with the sharks always biting us and the loneliness due to people not coming here on vacation. So we all need to work together to make our boring humdrum lives a little more non-humdrum. One thing you can do to be a part of the solution and not a part of the problem is to make everyday situations more interesting.
So the next time someone calls you and says "Hey, what are you up to" don't reply with the usual "talking to you on the phone". That is just too predictable, and kind of annoying. Instead, when someone calls and says "Hey what are you up to?" reply with "I was getting ready to have sex with a chimpanzee, thanks for killing the mood with the phone call, Einstein". Then when the person starts to talk again yell "Shit! the damn monkey just climbed up the tree. Now I have to start all over again!" This will lighten anyone's mood a little, because monkeys are just funny, no matter what the situation. Except when they are eating your face.
Currently rated 1.5 by 4 people
- Currently 1.5/5 Stars.
- 1
- 2
- 3
- 4
- 5