MIAMI, FLA -
All the big officials in Miami, law enforcement, tourism, education, the cabdriver's union - you name it, are rejoicing and experiencing revitalization the likes of which can be known only by the official people who are experiencing it.
What's the cause of this great celebration and jubilation? Well October 2008 is officially murder free. That's right, people, not single person was killed in Miami during the month of October. Generally, a typical month in Miami brings about six or seven murders - that's about one a week with a few more thrown in at various times. Officials have no idea as to what caused the murder-free month. As a matter of fact, when Miami Homicide Detective John Buhrmaster was asked about the month without murders, is comment was "amazing".
There was a close call during October. A guy was shot in both of his legs and the bullets tore holes in his femoral arteries. Femoral arteries are essential for the circulation of blood through the body. Although most people would think that their are plenty of other blood vessels to pick up the slack, it turns out that femoral arteries that don't leak are a necessarry component of a living body. So anyhow, the guy who had his femoral arteries shot at is still alive - thanks to modern medicine.
The last time Miami had an entire month with no murders was May of 1966. Authorities are hopeful that through advanced medical technology and people deciding not to shoot at other people, the murderless October of 2008 will be the start of a new era with fewer murders. They are not holding their breath, however, as Thanksgiving (a very tense time for some families) is right around the corner. Christmas can also be particulary violent, what with people giving other people stupid presents, and the ubiquitous unrelenting sound of Salvation Army bells ringing.
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