Ok, so tonight is the big night. For those of you who don't keep up on United States politics, what's happening tonight is that this chick who looks like Tina Fey will be on TV arguing with an old white guy who just looks like an old white guy. Why? Because they both want the easiest job a person could ever have - Vice President of the United States. The Vice President of the United States' job description is "you don't really have to do anything unless the president dies". So if your Vice President, you can sleep in every day and then sit around and watch TV and nobody can say a thing, because you're not supposed to do anything. I've always wanted to be Vice President, but in order to be Vice President you have to be picked by the President, which means that the president has to know you, and if I look truthfully at my current circle of friends and associates, I just can't see that happening. But a guy can dream.
So anyway, everybody is making all kinds of predictions about the big debate, because the Tina Fey looking chick is probably stupid but won't say anything really stupid, because she doesn't do a whole lot of talking. So tonight she is going to have to talk, and hopefully she will say something really stupid, so when the thing's over you won't feel like you just wasted a bunch of time watching it.
So now the prediction. The chick was born on February 11, 1964, which makes her an Aquarius, horoscopically. The old white guy was born on November 20, 1942, which makes him a Scorpio, in the world of horoscopes.
Aquarius says "You're performing for a certain person or a group of people today. It may be an interview, a date or an actual artistic performance of some kind. Though you're at your best, you'll still be shaking from a case of the jitters. Steel yourself."
So the prediction is that she will get the jitters, and maybe even pee her pants, because you know she forgot to read her horoscope today, so she won't know to "steel herself".
Scorpio says "It's a good time to go looking for inspiration. You may want to check out your old standbys, but it's a better bet to seek it in places you've never tried before. Things are getting more interesting by the day!"
So the prediction is that nobody cares what the old white guy does. We just want to see the chick do something stupid.
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