CLEARWATER, FLA -
Here in the land of Scientology, sand, and sunshine, residents have a new, additional annoyance to deal with: the Obama terrorists.
According to authorities, the Obama terrorists most recent target was a 2006 Lexus LS 430, owned by 41 year old Frank Armstrong of 2136 Pinnacle Circle N in Clearwater. Frank Armstrong had recently "pimped his ride 40-something white man style" by affixing to the vehicle a bumper sticker supporting McCain for president, and a bumper sticker that said something derogatory about Obama.
Little did Mr. Armstrong know, exercising his constitutional right to free speech can be dangerous. (An assumption is being made here. Mr. Armstrong has a right to free speech provided that he is a legal U.S. citizen. As of yet, Mr. Armstrong has not contacted the Offices of WIBGTH with proof of legal U.S. citizenship. Luckily for Frank Armstrong, WIBGTH has a strict "take the high road policy", so we will not be questioning Mr. Armstrong's citizenship here.)
So with it being established that Frank Armstrong of 2136 Pinnacle Circle N in Clearwater is in all likelihood a legal citizen of the United States of America, is not guilty of tax evasion, and is legally licensed to work at whatever his occupation may be, we will continue with the story.
So what happened is that Mr. Armstrong's 2006 Lexus LS 340 was damaged. According to authorities, someone scratched "KKK" into the paint on the car's body, urinated on the car, burned the car with lit cigarettes, and then burned an American flag. Police say that there are no witnesses to the terrorist attack. Or surveillance video footage. So it seems that they have no idea who did it.
Somehow they do know that the act was perpetrated in response to the political views expressed by the vehicle. And they are calling it a "hate crime". Really. Apparently the police have determined that the "hate" part of this crime is against.. well I'm really not sure. Is it hatred towards luxury cars, or hatred towards McCain? Perhaps the hatred was towards Frank Armstrong. Very confusing.
This story is allegedly totally true, except for the part about McCain being "shocked" by the crime. That was just an excuse to use that picture of McCain expressing shock, horror, dismay, or whatever emotion he is expressing in the picture.
Be the first to rate this post
- Currently 0/5 Stars.
- 1
- 2
- 3
- 4
- 5