Well, people, it didn't take long. School started a few weeks ago, and today the first female teacher/student sex scandal broke. This one is kind of on the weak side, but things are sure to heat up. It's only September.
So today's Female Teacher/Student sex scandal involves 36 year old Alyson Perry Jarvis, of 504 Sheridan Drive, Palm Harbor, FLA. The incident took place in Pinellas County, Tampa's ritzy neighbor (or so they think), so Hillsborough County's plan to keep female teachers from getting down and funky with teenaged boys still seems to be working. Alyson is a third-grade teacher at Southern Oaks Elementary School, in Largo, which is kind of like Pinellas County's version of Seffner. In other words, if Jerry Springer was going to do a Pinellas County show, the show would take place in Largo.
The reasons that this particular Female Teacher/Student sex scandal is a little on the weak side are three-fold.
1) Alyson is not smiling like a crazy person in her mug shot. And she doesn't have that defiant "f******* you and yo mamma too" look that some of those Female Teacher/Student sex teachers have. She looks distressed, kind of like you would expect a normal person to look if they were a 36 year old teacher who just got arrested for having sex with a teenaged boy. So, at this point, Alyson does not look like an insane person. And that is fold one of the why-this-case-is-sort-of-weak thing.
2) Alyson teaches or taught third grade, and her little boyfriend is not a third grader. Alyson and the boy started their sex scandal when the boy was fifteen, and they met through "family and friends". They maintained their relationship for a couple of years. The kid just turned eighteen. Fold two of the why-this-case-is-sort-of-weak thing.
3) Not to be mean, but let's face it. Alyson just is not a hottie. She'd probably look ok with some high quality make-up. But her mug shot is really not all that flattering. She's definitely not celebrity material. She ought to just start smiling like a crazy lady.
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