DELTONA, FLA-
In yet another case of crazy lopsided justice that favors a common criminal's rights over that of a rational, quick-thinking citizen who is clearly the victim, a 45 year old man was arrested yesterday morning.
So what happened in Deltona (the place apparently has a police department manned by dim-witted chimpanzees) yesterday morning is this:
A guy is woken in the wee hours of the morning. He reported that he heard "strange noises" coming from his daughter's bedroom. Now being a guy with a daughter, especially a teenaged daughter, is no easy job. Definitely not a job for the weak, squeamish, or slow in the head. So this guy - the father - is clearly a competent teenage girl's father, and that being the case, he quickly made way to the daughter's bedroom. Somewhere along the way, he picked up a piece of metal pipe.
Now this is exactly what a competent teenaged daughter's father should do in this situation. I believe it's called multi-tasking. As you are running to save your daughter from whatever danger she is in, you scan the area for potential weapons, and grab whichever one looks like it will do the most damage in the most efficient manner. There's no time for fooling around in this type of high pressure situation. It's not like you can find a flashlight, go out to the shed, sharpen the sickle, etc... you don't have time for that foolishness.
So anyways this totally competent, perhaps professionally trained, father of a teenaged girl opens the daughter's bedroom door and finds a NAKED BOY STANDING ON HIS DAUGHTER'S BED. Sorry for the exessive caps, but that's the only way I can think of to communicate the adrenaline-soaked thick-with-protective-rage moment when a guy finds a NAKED BOY STANDING ON HIS DAUGHTER'S BED.
Ok, so you with me? Are you walking in my tracks? Are you feeling the severity? Ok, good. So the father takes off after naked boy, swinging the pipe defensively, and chases naked boy out of the house. Along the way he thumped naked boy upside his stupid little naked boy head, which is exactly what a competent FOTG (father of teenaged girl) should do. And after he chased naked boy (who was now "bleeding from the head naked boy") out the front door, he called the cops, so they could come get naked boy and pummel him with their billy clubs for awhile before taking his naked butt to jail.
So what do the cops do? Now get this - they ARREST THE FATHER!!!. That's right people - that was no optical illusion, you just read what you read. The monkey-brained cops arrested the father. For what?! you undoubtedly ask. Well, they arrested the father of the teenaged girl for "aggravated battery on a child". Notice that the charges don't mention the fact that the boy was naked, standing on the teenaged girl's bed. The charge is worded in such a way to make it sound like the father did something wrong. What a crazy, scary-crazy, topsy-turvy, f'd to the max world we live in. The father had to pay $10,000 to get out of jail, for goodness sake!
And the naked boy? Well of course they summoned a nice luxurious spacious ambulance, and gently placed naked boy on a nice comfy stretcher, took him to the hospital, and stitched up his head. Next thing you know, convenience store clerks will start getting arrested for getting shot. Crazy freakin' ass world, that's all I know.
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