Oldsmar, FLA - The blonde wig wearing armed oxycontin robber guy who got scared by a passing fire truck while he was in the middle of a robbery of a pharmacy on Armenia Avenue yesterday apparently scored some stuff today. He successfully robbed a Target pharmacy today, and made off with a bunch of fancy "Tarzhay" french designer oxycontin. (You know, Target has that fancy schmancy French designer guy, who makes staplers and toilet brushes look all cool and stuff. So I was just thinking that maybe their prescription drugs are all fancy too.)
But I digress. I often digress. Many times I have caught myself in the act of digression. I'm certain that others notice my tendency towards digression. I once heard some kids at the playground saying "he's always digressing" and "yeah, when he digresses I find that quite irritating", and I am pretty certain that they were talking about me.
And the ironic thing is that I can't stand it when others digress. It is quite irritating. However, because I am a very self aware person, I recognize that I am guilty of digression at various times in my life, so I have no right to complain about other people digressing. And non-digressors, bless their hearts, are usually too polite to point out when digressing is taking place. Very pleasant and patient people, those non-digressors.
So it turns out that this guy who robbed a Target pharmacy is implicated in several other robberies, including a bunch of Publix grocery stores, and a couple of SweetBay pharmacies. Sweetbay used to be "Kash n Karry", and before that it was "Food Lion". There was a big documentary on Food Lion's unsanitary conditions back in the room where they make ground beef, that featured a video of a guy picking up a big old cow brain tumor off the floor and throwing it in the ground beef maker thing.
It is for this precise reason that I refuse to buy ground beef from Sweetbay. And there you have it. In a nutshell.
Here is a picture of the oxycontin robber. If you turn him in you can get a thousand dollars from authorities. The man was last seen wearing plaid shorts.
Now just so you know, this is two pictures of the same guy.
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