John "Karate Kid" Barfly, who moved to a desolate, god-forsaken patch of raw earth in Texas years ago for the sole reason of getting away from his dingaling brother, recently found himself driving 1785 miles to Florida because his brother's life was in danger. It seems that Mr. Barfly actually lived in Florida years ago, when his dingaling brother popped in unannounced. So John Barfly, being the gracious, good mannered person that he is, took his brother to the beach, and then watched in awe as a riptide snatched his beer swilling sibling from a beach chair and dragged the drunken goohaffa about a mile from shore. Mr. Barfly, who was captain of the gold medal winning Swim Team America during the 1978 summer Olympics in Norway, immediately swam out and saved the drunken, bloated, uninvited visitor, all the while wondering which one of them was adopted.
Fast forward to last week, when his brother called him hysterically screaming "Giant grasshopper!! Help!! Giant grasshopper!!" Well John just sighed as he hung up the phone and gathered his family of eight into the biggest, gas guzzlingest vehicle in Texas and drove to Florida.
Upon arriving at his brother's Florida home, he found him drunk and incoherently babbling in the driveway. "Look!" his brother screamed with tears running down his face and pee running down his leg, "look at that big grasshopper!" So, with one well placed kick, John "Karate Kid" turned the two inch long insect-menace into mushy spot on the side of his brother's dilapidated shack. John then said "Your Welcome!" as his brother stood there shivering in fear and amazement. Mr. Barfly then got back in his vehicle, drove back to Texas, and painted the Texas flag on his picnic table.
Treat yourself to a box of fine cigars!
Currently rated 5.0 by 1 people
- Currently 5/5 Stars.
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