TAMPA, FLA -
They are hiring some new teachers in Florida. Due to the incredible large number of female teachers in the area that have sex with their students, this is news. Anything that has to do with school teachers is now news in Tampa. So the local Tampa newspaper made one of their reporters write a piece about it. The newspaper published it on their web site, and about twelve thousand people commented on the article.
Typical reader's comments were "these new teachers better not be having sex with their students" and "these new teachers will probably have sex with their students". Other typical comments were "these new teachers are overworked and underpaid" and "these new teachers get to take the summer off and make way too much money". And then there were comments like "I hope these teachers are attractive nymphomaniacs", and of course the occasional "it's good to hear that they are firing all the old teachers and replacing them with new teachers".
But the prize goes to what may be the longest reader comment ever written. This thing has is about twice as long as the article itself. I tried to read it but it made my brain hurt so bad after reading the first twenty words or so that I had to quit for health reasons.
Here is the article. If they take it down or the link doesn't work, don't worry, it's an article about hiring new teachers. That's all you need to know. However, you don't want to miss out on the Giant Collosal Mac-Daddy comment, so I am reprinting it here, due to the fact that dynamic content can not be copywritten, and the fact that I can easily reprint it via the magic of cut and paste. Here it is, be careful:
"Teacher pay is a simple supply and demand equation. I remember all the
teacher's unions encouraging their membership to vote for the class
size amendment...Not becuase it would be better for the kids (which it
is not because the quality of teachers in the classroom is down so much
because they do not have to be certified and the demand to meet the
amendment is so high) but because it would increase union membership.
My wife is a teacher and I told her and all her teacher friends not to
vote for it because it would dillute the demand side of the equation.
The demand for teachers would rise so much and so quickly that instead
of steady increases in pay to attract more teachers, the counties would
have to change the standards, which they did. In Pasco county, teachers
who take the free insurance for themselves receive a total comp package
worth between $45,000 and $50,000 year, taking into consideration just
the base pay, free benefits and the county's contribution to the
retirement program. This rate is for about 38 weeks of work, keeping in
mind teachers can earn much more by working additional days or hours in
extended school year programs or other afterschool education programs.
Annualizing the pay rate to the 49 week work year that most
professionals work (3 weeks of time off per year between vacation and
holidays), the annual pay is $58,000 to $64,000. This is the pay for a
college grauate with a bachelor's degree. There are a couple of things
that do need to be done...get rid of the class size amendment. It is a
waste of money and is not improving education in the classroom. This
one step eliminates every school district's budget crisis. After you
have done this, re-establish and maintain more rigid standards for
teachers. Finally, the school districts need to institute some sort of
training and human resources protocols to address teacher retention.
Many pricipals do not understand basic people management. The districts
do not put enough effort into understanding why teachers leave a
particular school or the profession and implement programs to address
those factors that lead to massive turnover. Once you have taken such
steps, you will be on your way to returning to a more realistic free
market supply and demand equation for teachers which will establish to
appropriate rate of pay for a qualfied teacher. Oh, by the way, it will
never happen, but if we eliminated the union influence in the process,
pricipals and school districts could actually discipline and terminate
teachers who engage in misconduct or are simply not doing their job."
Now if you read that whole thing you should immediately go to the nearest hospital and request a brain scan. Your life may be in grave danger. I'm pretty sure that reading that comment in it's entirety could cause a brain tumour.
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