Florida state officials are "overjoyed, absolutely jubilant" over the success of their Polk County Monkey Release program. Today the program produced - big time. The biggest meth bust ever in Polk County, 8 pounds seized, and we know (but the police are not saying) that the monkeys had something to do with it. Although 8 pounds of meth is a miniscule amount by Polk County standards (about a "72 hour supply, county-wide"), state officials are confident that there plan to introdruce Patas monkeys into the Polk County community will reap much larger benefits in the future.
Polk County Deputy Stan Humunk, who has "served" the county for 17 years, is still not convinced. "Sure, they took some meth off the streets, but I wouldn't think that I could be replaced by a monkey", Stanley said, while attending a taser safety class sponsored by Watley, one of the Patas ruling class.
Later in the day we caught up with Watley, as he rushed to an "emergency county council meeting". It was tough keeping up with Watley as he scrambled down Lake Avenue. Watley can easily walk 10 steps to a regular human's 5 steps, and occasionally puts his knuckles to the ground and leaps about 8 feet further down the sidewalk. Finally we caught up, as he waited for the walk signal at a busy intersection. "The current keepers of the law are a little rough around the edges", Watley said, as he energetically leaped onto a low hanging Live Oak branch. He then crouched down, with his hand-like feet grasping the branch, and looked me straight in the eyes with authority that one would not expect from a primate covered in fur. "But we plan on keeping the current force intact, for the next six to eight months".
Suddenly the reddish orange "Don't Walk" signal changed to an inviting white "Walk". Whatley, who's full name is "Whatley of the Gray Forest", leaps from the tree branch, landing about three feet shy of the double yellow line that runs down the center of Land O' Lakes Drive. Within seconds he is entering the front door of the Polk County Municipal Center, grabbing a stack of manila folders from a nervous looking young woman. Whatley gives the woman an approving nod and disappears down the hallway.
"Whatley of the Gray Forest" looking on as members of the Polk County Sherrifs department practice taser accuracy. Whatley's crew is thought to be invoved in the "biggest meth bust ever in Polk County"
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