POLK COUNTY, FL -
When the story about six teenage girls beating up another girl and posting a video to YouTube first came out, I decided not to write about it because I was tired of hearing about it. For days, this story was pretty much the whole newspaper.
Then the beat-up girl's father said that he was going to try and get the Internet banned and I almost wrote about it.
Then when Dr. Phil got involved I was tempted again, but restrained myself.
But now there are earth-shattering new details that I feel compelled to write about:
The cause of the fight, the spark that started the fire, was this:
The chick who got beat up borrowed a hairbrush and a razor from another chick and did not return it.
Read it here if you want. So now we can look at the beating in a new light. We can learn a lesson: Always promptly return items that you borrowed. I mean as soon as you are finished with the thing you borrowed, just walk over to your neighbor's house and give it back. It's common courtesy. Returning borrowed items promptly is a cornerstone of civilized society.
The other lesson is this: Stay out of Polk County!! Shit like this happens all the time in Polk County. The Polk County cops will tase you for shuffling your feet when you walk. In Polk County clerks at the 7-11 regularly rob their customers at gunpoint. If you happen to be walking through Polk County there is a very real danger that you will be injured by an exploding meth lab. So just stay away! There's nothing to see, I swear! POLK COUNTY IS BAD! VERY, VERY BAD!!
JUST SAY NO TO VISITING POLK COUNTY!!
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