All kinds of important people from the Tampa community got together yesterday in a big brainstorming meeting to resolve the major issue facing the Tampa Bay area yesterday:
What the hell do we have to do to keep those sex-starved teachers we keep hiring from having sex with those sex-starved teenage boys we keep letting in our schools?!?!?
I mean this thing is totally out of control. While it is true that no 30something or 40something women have been caught having sex with a student for the past two weeks or so, their is great fear within the community at large that this streak is not sustainable.
So the committee got together and this is what they came up with: We've got to work on our ethics policy, and make sure that the teachers know that they are not supposed to be having sex with students. So apparently the current Teacher Ethics Policy does not address the issue of "what's a woman supposed to do if she wants a little sex and everyday she is surrounded with boys who are ready willing and able to provide?" So it has been decided that a revamped Teacher Ethics Policy must address this issue. The exact wording has not been finalized, but the rough draft goes like this:
SEX WITH STUDENTS POLICY RULE #1: Please, women, please find someone who you have not taught in the past year or so to have sex with. Please try to find a sex partner whose age does not end with "teen".
ALSO, there is talk about training that goes above and beyond ethics. A series of two or three hour seminars has been proposed. Some of the topics include:
- How to get your husband to have sex with you
- How to approach an adult male potential sex partner at an adult social gathering
- Everybody in your classroom is looking at you because you are the teacher, not necessarily because they want to have sex with you Although they probably really do, they are going to try and convince the teachers otherwise. There is talk of recruiting someone like "McGruff the Crime Dog" or "Smokey the Bear" or "Dr. Phil" to teach this one
- In the same spirit, someone on the commitee shouted out another possible topic "Just Say No To Sex With Your Students"
At this point, one of the committee members pointed out that things were "getting a little silly here"
They then invited comments from the audience. The first comment came from a very concerned 17 year old who identified himself as "Mr. John Edward McCain". He asked how soon they planned to start the program. Later on he told reporters that he was afraid he may have "missed the boat". When asked if he was supposed to be in school he responded "huh?
Also in attendence at the meeting was the estranged, bitter, kicking-himself-in-the-ass-for-not-having-sex-with-his-wife-more, ex-husband of the hot blonde teacher that put Florida on the map, Owen Lafave. He had several questions, including "how do you write a book?", "has anyone heard from anyone about making a movie of my tragic role in the Debra Lafave ordeal?", and then he asked for donations to his new charity "Guys Whose Wives Had Sex With Students - the True Victims" (GWWHSWS-TTV)
Currently rated 1.3 by 3 people
- Currently 1.333333/5 Stars.
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