Well it seems like at least once a week some famous role-model-for-the-kids sports superstar decides to come to Tampa and commit some sort of felony. It's almost like there is some rumor floating around in sports superstar land that there are no police in Tampa. Or maybe they think that "what happens in Tampa stays in Tampa". Whatever the reason, sports superstars seeking drugs or a bizarre illicit sexual encounter are drawn to Tampa like moths to a streetlight. That's alright with us, we are always looking for ways to get national attention, and what better way than to bust a sports idol. Also, after a while, believe it or not, it gets a little old watching trailer park brawls involving drunken grandmothers and their meth crazed grandkids. I'm sure you've heard the old joke "What has 12 arms, 102 fingers, 27 teeth, 3 shoes, one purple flip-flop, one torn nightgown, is dripping blood all over the place, and covered with sweat?" The answer of course is a typical "Cops" family reunion filmed in a Thonotassa trailer park. Thonotasassa, for those who don't know, is an old Indian word, but nobody knows what it means because nobody has asked. Those Indians will just give you some b.s. answer anyhow.
But I digress.
In the biggest sports idol bust since Daryl Strawberry got busted for smoking crack in a public library, not once but
four days in one week, and then showed up for court escorted by a transexual who refused to wear underwear, last night the famous "Test" Martin was arrested for driving under the influence of alcohol or ghb or steroids or something. Test is of course a world famous professional wrestler. I think his name is "Test" because he took a class at the local community college or tried to get his GED or something. But anyway, he is one of about 20,000 "world famous wrestlers" who live in the Tampa Bay area. He bailed out of jail, and he lives at 371 Channelside Walkway, No. 101, Tampa in case you would like to pay him a visit. And ladies, rumor is he's available. He's also active in the gay rights movement in Pasco County (where people don't know him so well) so if you like a challenge you can try to get him to kiss you on the lips or something. Here is his picture so you know who to look for:
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