Ok just one more SECRET SPOT item

February 25, 2010 11:36 by Dalton Rattlesnake

Hey peeps, spammers, and joe jambalamers! I can't help it - here's one more SECRET SPOT entry. Of course, long time readers should know that the location of the SECRET SPOT is a secret, so in order to find the latest SECRET SPOT update you have to be a skilled internet engineer o... [More]

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The end is near

January 23, 2010 01:48 by Dalton Rattlesnake

Everywhere, Planet Earth - I have officially jumped on the "world ends on 12/21/2012" bandwagon. At first, I was skeptic of the Mayan's prediction. I figured they were just another bunch of silly barbaric non-european descent yahoo dingalings who don't know shit from a frogdic... [More]

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Tags: 12-21-2012, end of the world
Categories: Mystery and Controversy | Plain old stupid
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Possibly the most informative blog post you will ever read!!

December 10, 2009 06:13 by Dalton Rattlesnake

My backporch, FLA - Sometimes I just have to take a break from writing articles about the "Sunshine State That's Full of Crazy People Who are Sometimes Really Stupid, Too". So what do I do? I go on a Quest for Knowledge. Early this morning, while preparing for a &qu... [More]

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This could SAVE YOUR LIFE!!

December 3, 2009 13:44 by Dalton Rattlesnake

VALUABLE ADVICE FROM WIBGTH: We've all had it happen to us - you are supposed to do a presentation on something for some real important people, but somehow forget until the morning of. Once upon a time, when the unemployment rate was equal to the rate of people who choose to live under brid... [More]

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Tags: life saving advice
Categories: When accountants drink
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Naked fat man "not affiliated with the NFL" officials claim

November 10, 2009 08:48 by Dalton Rattlesnake

TAMPA, FLA - The Tampa Bay Buccaneers, our beloved local football team, put on a big-ass freaking show this past Sunday. It was their first "throwback" game, where they wore their original looked-ok-in-1975-maybe uniforms as they played against the Green Bay Packers (and beat them fo... [More]

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Tags: travis levengood
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Guy who fake caught a python in Bradenton is in big trouble

November 6, 2009 08:26 by Dalton Rattlesnake

BRADENTON, FLA - This is the time of year when it starts really getting cold in most of the U.S. All the people who spent the summer laughing at the dumbasses who live in Florida and are getting kicked out of their houses are now saying "It is positively totally fucking freezin... [More]

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Tags: justin matthews, pythons
Categories: Florida is Dangerous | pure sensationalistic drivel
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Internet is officially 'old'

October 30, 2009 13:02 by Dalton Rattlesnake

EVERYWHERE, UBIQUITOUSVILLE - The internet turned 40 yesterday. The age 40 is the universal "wow you are so old" age, for any readers who can not relate because they live in a timeless dimension. Maybe things will start calming down a little bit now. The int... [More]

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Categories: National News
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Drunk people all over the country organize to snatch world record from school children

October 26, 2009 00:28 by Dalton Rattlesnake

St. Petersburg, FLA - The Tampa Tribune took advantage of a "sure thing opportunity" to photograph drunk woman cleavage Saturday night when they sent a team to cover a Michael Jackson themed event. A bunch of drunk people are trying to get a world record for "most people dancing t... [More]

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Tags: boobs, nobody cares
Categories: Plain old stupid | pure sensationalistic drivel
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Foods found in 36 alligator stomachs

October 20, 2009 18:33 by Dalton Rattlesnake

FYI - Particularly fascinating is that Crustacea is present in 100% of alligator stomachs, while the "Percent Occurrence" is 18.6%. See what I'm saying? A couple of guys included this table in the report "Late Summer Foods of Young Alligators in Florida",&nbs... [More]

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Tags:
Categories: Science
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Crazy Ocala lady exposes herself to teenaged boys, then gets arrested

October 10, 2009 20:34 by Dalton Rattlesnake

Ocala, FLA - Venus Williams got all funky last Saturday at the E.D. Croskey Recreation Center. According to police, Ms. Williams started things by chasing a couple of teenaged football players, which sounds innocent enough. Now Venus was yelling something at the boys also, roughly translated ... [More]

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