Possibly the most informative blog post you will ever read!!

December 10, 2009 06:13 by Dalton Rattlesnake

My backporch, FLA - Sometimes I just have to take a break from writing articles about the "Sunshine State That's Full of Crazy People Who are Sometimes Really Stupid, Too". So what do I do? I go on a Quest for Knowledge. Early this morning, while preparing for a &qu... [More]

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"Crack" found at nuclear power plant is not dangerous and addictive

October 9, 2009 11:41 by Dalton Rattlesnake

Crystal River, FLA - Authorities report that the "crack" found at the Crystal River Nuclear Power Plant is not, in fact, the dangerous kind. (You know - the kind with cocaine that made Chris Rock all crazy and homosexual in that movie back in the early '90s). No, authoriti... [More]

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Provocative!! Tittilating!! Videos of Lingerie Football League Tryouts!!

May 30, 2009 02:44 by Dalton Rattlesnake

TAMPA, FLA - Move over NFL!! It's summertime, or late spring, one of the few times of the year that the average American heterosexual male does not think about football 17 times a day. And when guys aren't thinking about football, there is a thought void that must be filled. Scientis... [More]

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The numbers go on their butts, silly!

January 9, 2009 01:55 by Dalton Rattlesnake

If you are like me, the first question that popped into your head was "where will the girls in underwear football player's numbers go?" when you first heard about the Lingerie Football League. Well here's your answer, inquiring minds! The numbers go on their butts! I feel s... [More]

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Categories: General | Science
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Man stops car to get armadillo out of road, volunteer cop investigates, then things get weird

December 5, 2008 07:05 by Dalton Rattlesnake

NEW PORT RITCHEY, FLA - The armadillo is a "scaly reptilian mammal". They really don't have fur, just a bunch of whiskers scattered about their scaly little bizarre looking bodies. Armadillos are real scary when cornered. They carry leprosy, and little bits and pieces o... [More]

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Scientists make amazing discoveries, provide immense relief to the pondering masses

November 14, 2008 23:43 by Dalton Rattlesnake

Yup, that's right, peeps. Scientists have solved a multitude of mysteries (two) that have stumped famous minds such as Albert Einstein and Stephen Hawking for centuries. SOLVED MYSTERY NUMBER 1: Scientists have proclaimed that the egg came before the chicken. They are basing this amazing ... [More]

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Tags: science facts
Categories: Science | Mystery and Controversy
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Joe the Plumber: Is he a witch?

October 24, 2008 18:08 by Dalton Rattlesnake

Well the word on the street is that Joe the Plumber is some kind of superhuman magic voodoo guy. Now I have never met the guy, since he has made absolutely no attempt to contact me. NO ATTEMPT TO CONTACT ME WHATSOEVER!! So my conclusion is that Joe the Plumber is a witch. We must burn him, a... [More]

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Tags: joe the plumber, joe the plumber
Categories: Science | Science
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Joe the Plumber: Homosexual?

October 20, 2008 22:02 by Dalton Rattlesnake

It's not that I am a homophobe or anything. If it turns out that Joe the Plumber is gay, then that's his business. I'm a "live and let people be gay if they're gay" kind of person. I believe that as a race, we humans are driven to constantly seek the truth. You... [More]

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Ok everything's cool now

September 28, 2008 10:26 by Dalton Rattlesnake

I fixed what was causing you not to be able to see "THE TWILIGHT ZONE". While you are here, check out this video of ants in action:

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Tags: army ants, army ants
Categories: Science | Science
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Someting's screwed up with this site

September 28, 2008 00:15 by Dalton Rattlesnake

Somethings screwed up. The Twilight Zone seems to be down, and who knows what else. So bear with me folks, I'm too tired to mess with it right now. By the way, did you know that the total earth's ant population weighs roughly the same as the total earth's human population? Y... [More]

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