Drunk people all over the country organize to snatch world record from school children

October 26, 2009 00:28 by Dalton Rattlesnake

St. Petersburg, FLA - The Tampa Tribune took advantage of a "sure thing opportunity" to photograph drunk woman cleavage Saturday night when they sent a team to cover a Michael Jackson themed event. A bunch of drunk people are trying to get a world record for "most people dancing t... [More]

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Zombie mania!! And zombie controversy!!!

October 9, 2009 22:22 by Dalton Rattlesnake

University of Florida, FLA - University of Florida students have posted a "zombie attack preparedness guide" on their website. It's right there with the hurricane instructions (buy all the water you can), and rattlesnake bite first aid guides. (Don't worry, rattlesnakes ar... [More]

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Categories: Plain old stupid | Mystery and Controversy
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As authorities work extra hard to clean up Brooksville, Easy St. woman walks around naked

June 18, 2009 16:04 by Dalton Rattlesnake

BROOKSVILLE, FLA - Marilyn Incigeri, who lives at 843 Easy Street, Brooksville, FLA has been walking around naked. Neighbors reported to local police that she was standing around on her back porch totally naked, and even walked out to her mailbox topless. Clearly Marilyn is simply a fun lovin... [More]

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What a day. Bad news. Stupid city government meeting. Good news.

June 4, 2009 20:52 by Dalton Rattlesnake

TAMPA, FLA - Today started on a down note, as far as news goes, for people of many different age groups. The bad news for the old folks was the closing of the historic, iconic, famous restaurant called Velencia Gardens. Apparently this place has been around since Florida was part... [More]

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What not to do when you catch a shark, and more

May 8, 2009 20:15 by Dalton Rattlesnake

First a little video of a guy catching a shark who only has one fish hook, and doesn't have one of those hook remover thingees... The top story tonight is about this one guy who does this thing or something and then something happened. ... [More]

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Tags: channel 12 newscast
Categories: Plain old stupid
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That prison guard tasing kids? No big deal, turns out

May 7, 2009 09:14 by Dalton Rattlesnake

Remember that big hubbub about the prison guard tasing visiting school kids up in the Florida Panhandle? Well, as it turns out everybody's doing it. It's no big deal, really. After the incident where the guard was fired, about ten similar cases were discovered. So it's just... [More]

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U.S. Supreme Court says "We couldn't care less" to Hillsborough bikini bars

May 1, 2009 06:44 by Dalton Rattlesnake

TAMPA BAY, FLA - Strippers in the Tampa Bay area will have to remain six feet away from their audience members, effectively ending the "lap dance" niche industry, which is where a stripper sits on a customer's lap and wiggles a lot. A "lap dance" typically lasts... [More]

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Local celeb Hulk Hogan reduced to hobbling around begging

April 3, 2009 16:40 by Dalton Rattlesnake

Ex-wrestler turned man getting a divorce Hulk "Terry Bollea" Hogan recently showed up in a Tampa Bay Area courthouse hobbling around on crutches looking all desperate and helpless. He was in the courthouse to beg for money, because being a handicapped pathetic guy is not a marketable ski... [More]

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Surprise visit this morning

March 22, 2009 02:37 by Dalton Rattlesnake

So at about 7:15 AM this morning, there's this thunderous loud knocking at my front door. Now I'm sound asleep, because last night I was up real late doing research for the site. This stuff doesn't write itself, you know. So like I was saying, I was sleeping so sound that I was having ... [More]

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Tags: samuel l. jackson, no more russian brides
Categories: Plain old stupid | Mystery and Controversy
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A couple of 911 misunderstandings

February 8, 2009 14:07 by Dalton Rattlesnake

The latest cases of people not quite getting the concept of "Dial 911": Early Saturday morning, 40 year old Armando Merino of Zephylhills called 911 to report that a convenience store clerk would not sell him beer. The cops came and arrested Armando. Also on Saturday, at ... [More]

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